56-second Movie Review: The Da Vinci Code

Hubby and I watched The Da Vinci Code last night. It is a well-crafted movie, but the ideas are très stupide. The facts are just horribly, laughably wrong, plus the story wants to have its cake and eat it, too. If Jesus was just a great man and not divine, as the movie would have us believe, then who gives a flying farg who his descendants are? We're supposed to be blown away by the fact that [SPOILER WARNING!] Sophie is the great-great-great-. . . -great-granddaughter of Jesus and Mary Magdalene (which 99% of the audience has figured out long before it's actually revealed), and I know that she's important because the super-secret society has to suppress her identity yadda, yadda, but actually the movie wants us to be awed by her "royal" bloodline. I was completely distracted by this for most of the movie. There are plenty of descendants of mortal kings -- does anyone care who they are? If we do, it's only because they are tabloid fodder ("Descendant of Jesus Caught in Paris Sex Romp with Harvard Professor!"). My last quibble, and it's a trivial one, regards the albino monk. Why is it that movies like to associate albinism (+ height) with murderous religious fanaticism (cf. Contact)? What is it about the lack of pigmentation that is supposed to drive men to extremes? Why couldn't the monk have been short, swarthy, and dumpy? Doesn't have the same impact, I suppose.

[P.S. At least I have figured out the gimmick for this Da Vinci Code diet book: have the police chase you for hours and hours on end and don't stop to eat anything.]