Thursday, November 18, 2004

Poor man's shock therapy, especially for traumatized Kerry voters

Are you feeling down? Did your girlfriend just dump you for your best friend? Did you rack up your credit card on what amounts to essentially nothing? Did Bush just win the election?

Well, you got yourself into this crappy mess, and now you are bathed in depression and self loathing, and are incapacitated by your emotions. Turns out that there's a quick fix for this. It won't make you feel good, but you won't feel bad anymore either, allowing you to approach the situation rationally so you can plan how to improve yourself and get out of whatever mess you are in.

I call it "the poor man's shock therapy," it's pretty simple and costs zilch. Just run a bath of ice-cold water. Dunk yourself in it for 30 seconds or so. Voila! Instant cure. Whatever it was you were so unhappy about, well, now you won't care. At least for the next 12 hours or so. By the time it comes back, it should be manageable. If not, repeat the therapy.

Disclaimer: I'm not an expert in psychology or psycotherapy and not licensed to practice medicine. My method is based on personal experience and the theories in the book "The Key to the Sciences of Man" by D.G. Garan.

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