Dear Osama

After reading your open letter to us (americans), one thing comes to mind: If we're really the "great satan" you say that we are, why are we not nuking you back to the primordial soup? Is Allah keeping our fingers from the button? If that's the case, why doesn't Allah smite us and be done with it so you can get on with a world of Islam?

In addition, I don't want to hear any more whining from muslims about the insurgent fighter shot by our Marine. After all, as a member of the Mujahideen, he loved death more than life, and we helped him to that end. We deserve praise, no?